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Flip Your Mattress, Flip Your Mind

February 17, 2012
Flip Your Mattress, Flip Your Mind

Limiting Beliefs. We’ve all got them, but most of the time we don’t even realize it. We also don’t realize how much they control us. But really, why would we? We’ve operated from those beliefs our whole lives–they’re our version of normal. A few weeks ago, a friend invited me to go for a hike on the “mountains” here in Hot Springs. It was a beautiful day and it seemed like a fun thing to do now that I am getting out in the world. A year ago, I’d managed to survive Peru at 12,000 feet without dying and I’d lived in the Rockies,  so I figured a little “hill” in Arkansas at basically sea level would be no big deal. Well, it was a good theory, but it was really wrong. I’ve never been much of a hiker, although I did get coerced into a couple of backpack trips through the Rockies back when I was in my twenties–nearly died once there too. As a teenager, I ran track for a couple of years. I was fast out of the gate on sprints and won lots of ribbons, but I couldn’t make it around the track one time even

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What’s Your Fantasy Today?

February 14, 2012
What’s Your Fantasy Today?

NOTE: This piece is adapted from my newsletter for subscribers. I typically don’t post what I write about in the newsletters, but since I had a lot of “ouch” comments back on the topic, I decided to share it here too. And, really, after that last article on my “patheticness” it just seems fitting. So, here we go! Valentine’s Day is here! The fantasies are in full swing and so is the stress of the reality of it all. Paired up people are stressing over what to do and whether it will be good enough. (The real ad at...

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The Joy of Embracing Your Pathetic-ness

February 13, 2012
The Joy of Embracing Your Pathetic-ness

If you’ve read my book and blog, you know about Rebound Guy–the name I affectionately give the man I leaped into an intense and tumultuous relationship with immediately after my marriage ended. Well, when I was trying to separate from him–and figure out whys and wherefores of my personal rock bottom–I repeatedly found myself reduced to a puddle over the strangest things. For instance, you have no idea the courage it took for me to go to a movie alone. No, I am not kidding. I know that may sound absurd to some of you, but let me assure...

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Playing “Whack-a-Mole” with Fears and Choosing to Fail

February 6, 2012
Playing “Whack-a-Mole” with Fears and Choosing to Fail

For some people, playing “Whack-a-Mole” with fear and Choosing to Fail are “easier” than the alternative. Some people will unconsciously sabotage things so they don’t have to consciously face the thoughts, feelings and fears that come up because of them. Now, you ask, who in the world would deliberately want to keep their fears? And seriously, who would rather fail than succeed? Turns out, a lot of people–maybe even you. Yes, really, and you...

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I Was Almost a Beauty Queen

February 1, 2012
I Was Almost a Beauty Queen

Since the last article was all about my internal struggle between the Princess and the Rebel, I thought you might be amused to hear how that actually played out once for me in real life. Yes, I was almost a beauty queen. Technically, there are high school yearbooks and old news clippings out there that have those words associated with my name and photo, but my defining moment in that department was my participation...

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The Princess and the Rebel…a love story?

January 25, 2012
The Princess and the Rebel…a love story?

Sounds like a hot romance novel, doesn’t it? The plucky princess, her hair billowing in the breeze, and her rebel rogue ready to sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to his castle. Sorry, but no. The misleading photo aside, the two characters I’m talking about aren’t from a romantic fantasy, they are both parts of me. They are the two primary archetypes–the two wildly divergent voices in my head and my...

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I Wish I Could Do That!

January 22, 2012
I Wish I Could Do That!

“We make time for what we value.” – Paula Renaye I love handcrafted jewelry made with crystals, stones and natural materials, and I greatly admire the skill and artistry it takes to do that work. It’s one of those things that I think I’d like to know how to do myself and have said so quite often. About four hours from where I live here in Arkansas, USA, there is a lovely historic town...

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It’s only paint…or is it?

January 20, 2012
It’s only paint…or is it?

We reveal our fears in what we say and do, how we see the world, what we’re willing to do and what we’re not–and why. ­ Paula Renaye I bought my condo three and half years ago, did significant renovations, including popcorn ceiling and wallpaper removal and retexturing and paint throughout. A few months ago, I painted most of it again. The living and dining room is now a fourth color, kitchen is on...

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Who is responsibile for you and your happiness?

January 16, 2012
Who is responsibile for you and your happiness?

A young woman I know has struggled for most of her life to be loved. Her definition of being loved is being taken care of–of making someone else responsible for her survival, support, wants, needs and even her happiness. She operates on the belief that “if only” she can get someone to do all the things on her ever-changing list, she will feel loved and validated and her life will be magically transformed–and so...

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Living while you’re dead?

January 10, 2012
Living while you’re dead?

“Let those winds of time blow over my head. I’d rather die while I’m living than live while I’m dead.” – Jimmy Buffett I’ve quoted that line more times than I can begin to count. In the last couple of weeks, however, I have both lived it–what fun!– and had to face how I haven’t for most of my life. Now, that’s not a new revelation for me. It is, however, another layer of...

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Rocky Mountain Highs and Lies

January 2, 2012
Rocky Mountain Highs and Lies

I am writing today from the Colorado Rocky Mountains in the US. And forget a mile high, I’m up closer to two! As those of you who know me personally are aware, I lived most of my adult life here and it is home. Coming back this time has been interesting in many ways. For one, the day after I arrived, so did the snow–a couple of feet of it. I was–and again am–up...

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If it feels like something’s wrong…… it is

December 27, 2011
If it feels like something’s wrong……   it is

If it feels like there’s something wrong, there is. Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? It is. The problem comes in when we don’t really understand why we feel bad. In general, the why is because we aren’t honoring ourselves in one way or another–maybe many ways. However, rather than face that unpleasant fact, we’ll look for reasons outside ourselves to convince us things aren’t really the way they feel so we can…yes, you guessed...

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You Just Have to Love Yourself–Really?

December 19, 2011
You Just Have to Love Yourself–Really?

I gave a talk this past weekend, and during the question and answer period, a person from the audience commented on how much he liked my talk, but said that none of it was really necessary if you just loved yourself. Wow! Really? Who knew? Just love yourself and you don’t have to do anything else! Why didn’t I think of that? Right, because those are just words. And if it were that simple...

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No, I don’t eat peanut butter…

December 10, 2011
No, I don’t eat peanut butter…

“It’s not what you think. I really don’t eat peanut butter…” Maya Angelou had it right. When people show you who they are, you better believe them. So why don’t we? Why do we believe the words we want to hear and ignore the cold, hard facts in front of our eyes that say otherwise? In short, because it’s easier. We’d rather believe that people are the way we want them to be instead...

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Who would you be if you weren’t afraid?

December 7, 2011
Who would you be if you weren’t afraid?

Who would you be if you weren’t afraid? Now, your first response to that question may be that you’re not afraid and how dare I suggest that you are. Well, here’s my response to that: we are all afraid of something–and sometimes a lot of somethings. And, most of the time we don’t consciously recognize how much influence those fears have over our lives. I knew a man through business associations who was fairly...

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